Overheard two blue collar guys talking about how they and their republican cohorts found a loophole in the constitution saying it’s completely illegal for the US to institute taxes. Sorry guys but I like having police officers, firefighters, paramedics, soldiers, navy, airforce, nasa, public schools, decent roads to drive on, state jobs, amongst many other services our government provides. Sure I don’t care (much) that you insist everyone has to watch the Ron Paul DVD you have. Just don’t believe everything you hear.
It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?"
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data."
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.
I will always reblog this. Always.
Now I know why women don’t pay any attention to me at all. So I don’t think they are rapists. Aw thanks ladies.
So they had even more incentive to clear Christie.(via dendroica)
If I am ten minutes late to class with Starbucks it would be a funny but benignly sexist joke if I was a white girl, but because I’m a Black girl then it means that I don’t take my education seriously and maybe do not deserve my academic scholarship.
If my grammar in a paper is not impeccable then it’s because I can’t speak “proper” English and maybe I should be in a remedial class and not an English major. If I am struggling in a class then instead of being directed towards a tutor, I will be encouraged to drop the course.
If I do not have a flawless transcript and academic record then I am unlikely to be encouraged to apply for prestigious fellowships and scholarships, even while non-Black classmates who have the same transcript will be funneled into these programs.
To a non-Black person all of this might sound highly improbable or exaggerated. And yet, this is my life. And it’s the life of many other Black students at PWI’s.
And so it’s no wonder that many Black students at PWI’s learn to over-compensate by attempting to excel beyond their classmates. It is no coincidence that many Black students cannot relate to the hegemonic narrative of college in which students party and occasionally attend class all while largely being protected from the “real world.”
College is a microcosm of the real world for Black students who deal with the omnipresent threat of being viewed as not good enough. And even when we excel beyond our classmates, at the end of the day we will be followed by police and harassed and questioned about whether we’re even students.
The scrutiny encourages unhealthy coping mechanisms. Tokenism after all is cumulative of what occurs when white supremacy, perfectionism, and capitalist notions of individualism and the need to be productive all collide and pressure Black folks to forget they’re human like everybody else."
Teachers would say ‘You should join this or that team’, not the physics club. My fuel tank had been stoked since I was nine, but it took some energy to overcome this resistance. I wondered if there was a lost generation of people who succumbed because their fuel tanks were a little smaller than mine."